Deny

Falling hurts. It built one's resistance. Not everyone, though.

Not me.

Loving too much is painful. It built one's devotion. On the other hand, it drains oneself.

I, for once, am tired.

Losing once hope is disastrous.

I hope,

I don't grasp for the last breathe.

My boy's artwork

My boy drew this!

He wants this posted here!!!

Were my words too harsh?

Whoyda = bootylicious1814@hotmail.com = babe beb

What is really wrong with her???? I did'nt even ban her! Anyway, this is just my first time that I actually sent her the email when I saw her tag on my cbox at my blogshop.

Please read this.............

----- Original Message -----
From: babe beb
Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2008 1:47 PMSubject: RE: VS itemsu

don av 2 b rude to banned me.i ask u nicely.OMG!!ur nt a nice person.i wanted 2 buy stuff from all d vs ppl who r selling it.its ok for u 2 banned me.cz ur nt d only 1 in singapore selling vs stuff.I hope the others r nt as rude as you.I pity sum singaporean people jz dono how 2 respect other ppl who's willing to ask nice question abt VS stuff.ur so rude.sorry 2 say.bt jz 2 let u knw so others don call u rude also.So a reminder for u be nice to people n people will also be nice to u.courtesy can be very persuasive.I av other Sporean selling VS bt they nt rude.They jz lucky they born to respect people.I will nvr visit ur blog anymore.even for my Bruneian ppl who's looking for VS,I will nvr recomend U.I av better ppl who i can negotiate with.U jz push ur luck cz i was jz abt 2 buy 7 stuff from u.N i was abt 2 ask for ur bank account so i can transfer my money to U.Bt nvrmind..its ok..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: bootylicious1814@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: VS itemsDate: Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:23:57 +0800

only posb atm transfer accepted. Pay first and i will pass items over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----- Original Message -----
From: babe beb
Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2008 1:18 PMSubject: RE: VS items

how abt if d guy meet u n pay u at d spot n colect d stuff from u?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: bootylicious1814@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: VS itemsDate: Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:13:36 +0800

u can see tat on my blog, i do have vs big bag, jus the size of the vs glitter tote. i have wristlet, too. How keen r u? I dont hold items for u. If u want, u have to abide by the rules. I accept pym via posb atm transfer.I hv lots of things but if u really show interest, tell me wat u want , pay and i will close deal for u.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
----- Original Message -----
From: babe beb
Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2008 1:09 PMSubject: RE: VS items

wrislet?huge beg sumting like the VS Glitter tote beg.Beg for work VS.Wat do u av cumin b4 15th sept?My fren is cumin 2 Brunei on the 21at sept.if u av stuff cumin early than dat,maybe i wud like 2 buy it from u.tq

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: bootylicious1814@hotmail.com
Subject: VS itemsDate: Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:03:27 +0800

what VS items do u want?
http://girlslike2shop.blogspot.com/

KENNYSIA.COM

ooh, I have just dropped a comment on his blog. Kenny, that is. Urm, don't know him? Gosh, he is one of my greatest fan. I mean, I am his fan! Ha ha!! ..Young chap of high IQ and EQ and I always feel his blog is really worth reading than a few of our "great" local bloggers.

I have not been blogging for quite a while here but somehow, after reading his blog, I just want to let u passers-by know that he rocks!

Yes, I am definitely certain that he is a very nice, not to mention that he is gutsy, he is the type that I will love him to be my son-in-law in say, 15 years time. FYI, my girl is only 9! Ha, am I kidding?!

ooh, what is wrong with me?!!

My new shopping blog is ready soon

I just can't wait to present you my little shopping booth at

http://girlslike2shop.blogspot.com

I'm still adding the final touch and if you can just bear with me, this is going to be a very nice shopping experience!

Do show your support!

All humans are vulnerable

I am, without exception.


Oh Lord, I cast all of my care upon you..

Homemaker

This morning, a girlfriend smsed me that she is itching to join the workforce because being a homemaker seems to belittle her. Afterall, she is armed with a degree.

Her predicament has lead me to some thoughts.

I can never feel having to strike big time in the workforce is as important as maintaining a good family. I am not saying that if a wife works, the family can never stay healthy. It is just that you won't be able to devote much of your time to it. Therefore, even if I have a PHD, I will still see myself comfortably fit into the role of a homemaker.

Call me lazy, that is, IF YOU DARE. I may not be toiling in the office unlike some married counterparts, but I am not idling at home either. While my husband works hard to bring home the bacon, I contribute to the family in other way.

But wait, before you think I am no different from a maid... I AM NOT.

A maid can never devote all her time and attention to a family willingly and for free.
She can never shower the same kind of love to the family.
She can never wreck her brain to think of how best she can nurture the kids.
She can never be the pillar for the husband's rest.
And of course, like what husband says, a maid can never dare ask the husband to wash his own socks!

Perhaps I could emphatise how my girlfriend feels. Sometimes, learning to take pride in doing what a homemaker is doing is never easy. Whether you are a graduate or not, a homemaker has only one title. The larger part of the society always associate achievement to one's market value. Unfortunately, there's hardly a value for a homemaker. Paper qualification is of no significance to homemaker title.When you are dressed in your most casuals and being blended to the rest of the aunties, you are merely one of them waiting at the deck for kids to come home from school.....

Who dares says being a homemaker is easy? Well, it boils down to the pride and ego. If you can let go, congratulations and welcome to being a homemaker !

Lust, Caution

Oops, I am not passing this off as a show review. Definitely not.

There are already many out there and I have got a good read which has slowly build up my interest to want to watch the show on the big screen. No wonder the box office, as reported, has been favourable.

Lest that you think I am no equal to the desperate housewife next door, well, what's there for a glimpse when much has been snipped in our local version?

Hey, the main actor is reason enough to attract me already. Look at this (photo), don't you think he just so exudes the old man charm that no other can?

I will watch the show.

I pay!

Save the planet because every little effort counts?

But wait. I don't see the point.

All of us know that urbanisation has lead to the doom of our planet Earth. It is not as though human participation of the crime has happened overnight. The Earth is not wrecked by us in one day. It has been put to an anticipated and expected gradual doom since yesterday, the day before and the many many days before.

From the start of urbanisation, all mankind are pretty aware of the consequences. Even at childhood, I have teachers telling me about the human activities that lead to the destroyal of ozone layers.

So, why is the world acting panicky only now? I am now made a target of the constant drumming of the Save The Earth campaign every first Wednesday of the month. Why me?! Perhaps my greatest mistake is that I don't own a branded tote that shouts "I'm not a plastic bag"!

Whatever the reason be, I don't think I can stand the noise and this has really made me annoyed.

So, what if I adore the use of plastic bag? Plenty of them even, that I have been using. They are almost secondary to my staples of food.

Now that I have to pay for the plastic bags to hold the groceries, let's be it.

I PAY!

Mysteriously inexplicable!

I am suspecting I'm in some sort of an inbalanced hormonal changes lately. Either it is owing to the removal of the Mirena or it is a result of the unstated effects of Lingzhi pills that I'm currently consuming daily.

Or maybe much worse, it could even be the pre-menopausal symtoms that I could be getting as I'm slowly moving past my mid thirties. Pre-menopausal symtoms?? This is so scary. My imagination has definitely run wild!

I can't help but just feel....... How shall I describe it? It is not something that I can put it in words. It is so inexplicable!

Maybe, this is just boredom.

It can even be my inner me shouting for loneliness.

But what exactly it is or what is the root cause, gawd knows!!

And as when I am about to continue dwelling on the inexplicable mood swings in me, my little girl calls me from school. It certainly breaks the spell of having me dwell on something not so productive.

I am glad that she remembers to call. I have instructed her to do so before she has left for school and she has indeed surprised me with her call. Afterall, my little girl has always been forgetful. I must remember to put a mental note to praise her tonight.

As for the inexplicable hormonal changes that almost grills me to bits, I am thankful that I can always count on my little ones. Yes, they are the ones who give me the spring of life!

They ARE my spring of life...

Melancholy

I woke up feeling miserably low in spirit.
I did'nt know why.

I could'nt contain my frustrations.

But what frustrations?

Little did I know what frustrations.
So, I smsed a buddy.

We had an exchange of smses.
Glad that things seemed a bit of sorted out,
at least that was what my buddy would have thought.

After all effort, the spirit felt the same.
Just low.

Maybe, it would be better...

Birthday

It is my boy's birthday and he has been counting the days. Now that the day is here, he has a wishful thought that he could get another round of present from us. I have to be firm, lest I give in to his whines again.

What happened was, he had pestered us into buying a game controller several months ago. He could'nt wait to have it till his birthday and so he managed to get his way by assuring us that it would be an early birthday gift.

But, a birthday without a present is like, oh so pathetic, you think. I was almost sold to such thoughts at first. Yesterday, I was at the newstand scouring high and low in search of his favourite magazine. Luckily, it was sold out.

Present or no present, he will still get to blow the candles on the cake. Most important of all, I have the duty to inculcate the right value upon him. He is to know that "a promise once made, has to be honoured."

Well, he does have a present. An early present, that is.

Unusual days

As expected, we did'nt get to watch any movie over the weekends. Instead, it was a fun filled weekends at Desaru, for my husband drove the three of us there. It was a planned outing with his business buddies. So, counting us in, it was an impressive troop of ten cars in all, car cruising all the way to Kota Tinggi before we finally reached Desaru, inwhich we spent a night there. It was definitely an unusual weekend experience and the kids really enjoyed it.

Having spent the weekends away from home, chores seemed to be building up in the house and I had a busy morning clearing stuffs and all that. It is always at time like this that I wish for a domestic helper.

Unlike most Mondays inwhich my freezer would have a complete stock of fresh food supply ranging from poultry to fishes to last for the week, so just this morning when I took stock of what was left in the freezer, I was having a hard time deciding what to cook for lunch and dinner. Apparently, the freezer was left with almost little stock because there was obviously no visit to the wet market the other day.

Eventually, lunch was merely porridge with batang fillets and some scrambled egg. So immediately after the kids had left for school, I headed to the neighbourhood NTUC to stock some fresh products.

It is also always at such time when I truely appreciate the place that I'm staying, never mind the fact that it is not a private estate.

Rock at One-north

We're gonna ROCK at one-north SOON.

Praise U, Lord!

Because of U,
I foresee myself getting a little more sleep than usual...

And definitely,
Gone will be the days of the long travelling to and fro Church,

For One-north
is almost close to my door-step
~ oops, maybe not, but at least,
no longer will I have the journey fatigue as compared
to travelling from West to Suntec,
and vice versa.

O Lord, how you have made my dream comes true..

I am beginning to see your glory...

Mid-life transformation or crisis?

Moi husband has been into this mid-life transformation recently.

As when you are in your mid-life, your metabolism rate slows down so husband has gradually developed a tyre-like flabby inches around his waist. Yeah, this is not so nice visually but as I've thought, this should not be a bother to any man. A man should take it to his stride that this is just mere evidence of the mid-life triumph.

Unfortunately, husband does not think likewise. He is conscious of the tyre. He is making effort to do a little bit of workout whenever he is free. He has even deliberately tried eating lesser at every meal.

As if having a husband who watches his diet is not good enough, I have noticed a particular change in his facial care. On his own accord, he has stooped to using my high quality facial gel as his daily facial wash. And you think he is using Kao Biore cleanser. No, hor!

Lately, he has taken pride into painstakingly scrubbing his pearly whites. He does it so diligently, twice a day. Good hygiene, you thought. But, to spend a good 5 - 10 minutes each time just to brush your teeth is way too much I say.

I can't believe his is my husband!

Rest in God

I have been hesitating whether to watch Ratatouile or Evan the Almighty. Luckily, having watched the Bruce Almighty on TV yesterday with my kids, we are definitely certain that we will not want to waste our bucks on whatever Almighty show!

Anyway, the new school term has just begun and husband has got plans this weekend, so I doubt we can make it for any movie. Talk about the new school term and that leads me to recall the small chat I had with husband's sister the other day about the various tuition classes that she has enrolled for her kids. Not that her kids are academically weak but just like most mothers, it is just a kiasu mentality.

As a mother, I definitely exhibit such kiasu syndrome. From how the way I react each time my children don't perform to my expectation, to the umpteen times of pushing them to complete the many exercises that I've assigned them, are just some examples.

Sometimes, all these get into my nerves and it is almost so ironical to have my non-believer husband to remind me to -

Rest in God!

He prayed!

During the rehearsal for the Sport's Day telematch competition, Didi's class came in first. He was happy. So, the moment he reached home from school, he said to me, "Mummy, I want to pray to God for rain on Friday." Just when I was trying to figure out why he wanted the rain, he continued, "Teacher says we need not compete if raining on Friday and our class will be declared a winner base on rehearsal's result. Yay!" As soon as he said that, he gestured his intention by crossing his little fingers. How cute.

I thought that was cunning of him to rob in God's help. For what I know, Didi does'nt really have high regards on the Almighty. Why do I say that?

Everytime when Jiejie were to remarked how she will ask God if Didi is speaking the truth about certain things (as you know, these two are just loggerheads. They are always arguing over petty things.), Didi is always quick to chirp in that God won't reply because he has never heard God at all.

So, anyway, Friday is here. Looking at how the sun is baking the ground with a vengeance outside, I believe God has other better plans for him.

Just thrilled

So while I and husband have decided upon THE decision, I have been subconsciously weighing the pros and cons.

Can I really cope with three? Will we be financially strained? Do I really need a domestic helper in the family? Will my parents frown on my decision?

I could dig through my bookshelves searching for books and surfing the net in search of all sorts of must-knows relating to my current situation, ranging from "whether I really should have a third one" to "how to prepare my body for IT". At one point even, I could ridiculously surf for maternity wear. Who knows, I may even start buying infant wear in no time.

I really can't explain my behaviour. Minus the bad thoughts, I am simply thrilled by our decision.

The Lord leads me. Hallelujah!

Lately, I have a strong maternal urge that I do not know why. I do not know if I should go along with the flow. Afterall, I am really not young and all the risks that associate with high age pregnancy really frightens me. Somehow, I have managed to convince myself to act rationale but recently, the inward me keeps shouting to have another child like never before. I never have such a feeling so intensed. It reaches to a high point that finally lead me to surf the net in the hope to find something that can dispel my fear. I could find none.

Last week, I met my gynae. .It just happened so coincidentally that the Mirena in me was due for removal. I had to see him to get it removed and then to reinsert a new one. It was only till the gynae asked about whether I would love to have another child that I revealed to him how my strong maternal instinct had got into me and that I was too frightened to go along with it amidst the many negative facts that I gathered from the website. He laughed and shared with me all that I wanted to know. Most important of all, I felt so assured by him that I thought I should take up the challenge.

That day, I walked out the clinic a changed person. The expired Mirena was removed. As for the new Mirena,




well, you guess....

"Engrish"

After the school bus had left with my two little ones, I decided to walk to our family physician to replenish my boy's nasal spray. The existing bottle of doses were depleted and therefore my boy had not been on full dosage of sprays for days. He had to wake up several times clearing his nose last night.

Along the way, I overheard a father speaking to his child. "Where you get the money, you no working, huh?"

He continued again, "You no working. Where have money?"

Those questions had struck a chord on my head. Even now, I am still thinking hard.

The fact is, many Chinese speaking parents are very much like this father. They will rather make themselves speak "English" than Mandarin to their children. English has always been deemed as a language for the intellectual. English commands better respect than it's second class cousin, Mandarin.

This is no wonder even the not English speaking parents are all rushing to command such respect by feeding their kids with "English".

Ummm, Singlish, that is.